Guest Post -James M's review of Super Mario Bros (1993)

Super Mario Bros. (film) - Wikipedia

Hallo, Mario fans and movie lovers, welcome-a back to-a CrazyGamerHistorian1999's Reviews. Its-a me, CrazyGamerHistorian1999 and-a today we're-a here to review-a the famous 1990s video game movie that people like to-a love and-a hate, THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE!

So, video game movies, people love 'em, a few hate 'em. Some are successful, some are-a total failures and-a some are-a just average. So, where-a to start, eh? Ho ho!

As you can-a guess-a, this film came out in 1993 when the Mario franchise was just, oh, 8 years old (technically 12 if you-a count Donkey Kong). It starred Bob Hopkins (who was in Who Framed Roger Rabbit) and the late Dennis Hopper. When the movie came out, it recieved some negative reviews and was a big failure. It was so bad that Nintendo basically put the kibosh on movies (and partially comics) based on their own properties.

How many times have I seen this-a movie?
Oh, 7-8 times now. I watched it multiple times in the summer of 2012 after getting it and I saw it again this year some time before watching the Sonic movie.

Enough of that, time to talk the plot.
Let's-a go!

Billions of years ago, dinosaurs ruled the earth and everything for them was fine until a huge meteorite struck and wiped out the dinosaurs, paving the way for humans to come in. However, the impact of the meteor created another dimension where not all the dinosaurs were wiped out. They continued to thrive and, guess what, they evolved into humans. OH SH*T!

Centuries later, a mysterious woman leaves an egg on the doorstep of a church in Manhattan before heading off into the sewers, running into the movie's main villain King Koopa, who basically just took over the world in the other dimension and ousted the king, the woman's husband.
Meanwhile, nuns find the egg and it hatches into a baby girl named Daisy.

About twenty years later, we meet Mario and his brother Luigi, who are plumbers and want to help everybody but, here's the thing, they have issues such as the Scapelli Plumbers. While dealing with their van's heating problem, Luigi bumps into Daisy, who's older and works for a dinosaur bone excavation group. As you probably expect, Luigi falls in love with Daisy.

That night, Luigi and Daisy join Mario and his girlfriend Daniella at dinner and everything's fine... until Daniella gets home. Spike and Iggy, two minions of Koopa, come in and kidnap her, mistaking Daniella for Princess Daisy just like with several other women in Brooklyn.
In the meantime, Daisy and the Mario bros end up dealing with a broken sewer pipe at the construction site, where Daisy is working with the folks digging up dinosaur bones and Scapelli causes problems. Things really hit the fan when Spike and Iggy kidnap Daisy, Mario and Luigi follow them and they end up in the alternate universe where humans evolved from dinosaurs, ending up in Dinohatten.

Meanwhile, Iggy and Spike inform Koopa they got the princess but did not get the meteoroite piece that Daisy wears around her neck, due to the fact Mario and Luigi took it. Koopa calls a plumber alert and the Mario Bros end up getting arrested along with a street performer named Toad when they encounter the cops.
After ending up in jail, the Mario Bros demand a lawyer and end up meeting Koopa, who demands for the meteorite piece and turns Toad into a Goomba, threatening the Marios with devolution but the Marios escape, not before trying to deevolve Koopa however.

The Mario bros hijack a police car and escape to the Koopari Desert far from Dinohatten, due to Mario not listening to Luigi's directions very well. Spike and Iggy, as punishment for being dumb, are forced to evolve mentally to advanced levels, Koopa even hoping they'll manage to succeed in their mission.
Daisy, who gets her princess attire after spending time in a prison with the kidnapped girls (which includes Daniella), meets Yoshi the dinosaur and Koopa, who intends to use her and the meteorite piece to merge the two dimensions so he can take over the world and devolve the humans into monkeys.

Mario and Luigi encounter Iggy and Spike, who ask for the rock after explaining everything about why Koopa wants it, but the rock was already stolen earlier by a bouncer named Big Bertha just prior to the bros encounter with Toad and subsequent capture.
Working together, the heroes make their way back to the city where they encounter Big Bertha at the Boom Boom Bar. Mario retrieves the rock while dancing with her but unfortunately the rock gets stolen by Koopa's treasonous assistant Leena who captures a now traitorous Iggy and Spike while Mario and Luigi manage to escape with Big Bertha's help.

The Mario Bros make it to Koopa's Tower and eventually reunite with Daisy, who has now met her father, who was devolved into a fungus by Koopa during his takeover years prior. Mario heads off to save Dainella and the other girls from the Goomba barracks while Luigi and Daisy get caught by Koopa and his Goombas.
As for Leena, who intends to use the rock to dominate the universe, she's arrested and the rock is brought to Koopa, who is now ready for the invasion of the normal universe.

Mario finds and rescues Daniella and the other missing girls before he and Luigi proceed to confront Koopa, during the chaos, Leena gets her hand on the rock and inserts it into the meteor, which begins the process of merging the two universes.
Thankfully, Luigi and Daisy manage to thwart this and the Mario Bros face Koopa one last time, using some devoguns on him, which devolves Koopa into a weird looking, humanoid dinosaur. Mario and Luigi fire the guns on him, devolving Koopa into another dinosaur and then primordial ooze, destroying the dictator and ending his two decade long rule, freeing Dinohatten and restoring Daisy's father.

After returning to their world, life for Mario and Luigi go back to normal, even though Luigi is heartbroken but at least Daniella moves in with the Mario Bros. A few months later, as they watch a news broadcast talking about their heroics, Daisy bursts in with a gun in hand and requests for the Mario Bros help as the movie ends.

After the credits roll, two Japanese buisnessmen (probably Nintendo representatives) discuss with Spike and Iggy the possibility of a game based on their adventures to which they reply, "The Super Koopa Cousins."

Final thoughts:
This film was very good, I give it 8 out of 10 Super Stars and 11 out of 13 mega mushrooms for its good storytelling, the acting and everything else. Too bad the film didn't get a sequel, but at least there are fanworks out there willing to continue the story of the movie.
See you next time, boys and a girls!

-James M

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