Guest Post -James M's review of the Austin Powers films

Spy films, comedy films, we love them.
The James Bond films along with other countless spy films were very popular back in the 60s and seventies, they still are today. But after years of being unchallenged in the film industry, James Bond got some much needed competition from a new, kinda sorta action spy hero, Austin Powers.



"YEAH, BABY, YEAH!"

During the 1990s, Canadian actor Mike Myers was already popular enough having been on Saturday Night Live and starred in the Waynes World movies. However, things changed when Myers wanted to do a film that served as a spoof of the 1960s spy genre movies. Due to him impressing his wife with British accents a lot, Myers eventually got the idea for Austin Powers; International Man of Mystery. Eventually, after the casting was done and the script was finalized, Austin Powers was born and so was his nemesis and (unbeknownst to us at the time) long lost brother, Doctor Evil.



Since Austin Powers is basically a James Bond spoof, think of Doctor Evil as the Blofield of Austin Powers. Heck, his organization screams Specter. Doc Evil's ambtion? Take over the world. But his schemes can come off as a little over the top. Look at Austin 3, he wants to flood the world by dropping a meteor onto the arctic. How is that guy gonna rule the world if its flooded? Then there's his superlazer plan in Spy who Shagged Me, how is he gonna rule over a devastated planet? What helped Doctor Evil become super popular was his trademark "finger up to his lip", his laugh, his use of "frickin" and most of all "One Billion Dollars".

The first Austin Powers movie hit theatres May 2nd, 1997 and was a big hit, proving to be very popular. But the spy genre wasn't the only thing Austin Powers gained reputation for, Austin was not only a superspy, he was a swinger and was capable of hitting on any attractive woman he met. Not only was "oh behave" and "yeah baby" his main two catchphrases. There was shagadelic and a lot more from that walking talking swinging spy. Due to A.P being a James Bond parody, you had the Bond girl dymanic in there from Vanessa Kensington to Alotta Fachina to Foxxy Cleopatra, Ivanka Hamplot and Felicity Shagwell.

June 11, 1999. The Second Austin Powers movie hit theatres and was a big hit too. But unlike in the first film, where they tried to keep all sexual and dirty jokes to a moderate minimum as possible, the second film went all out and ended up bringing in the ugliest character ever who'd remind Dr Who fans of the Asorbalof. The character...



Fat Bastard. Yeah, that guy is the stupidest and most ridiculous character ever. Though not so bad if you gloss over him. He may be from Scotland but that accent sounds pirate-y. Yeah, lets talk accents. while Austin Powers is supposed to be British. His accent sounds cockney and Australian. Maybe in the fourth film he might fix his accents. Oh yeah, I forgot. Mike Myers plays not just the titular character and Fat Bastard, he plays the main villain Dr Evil too. Originally the role of Doctor Evil was going to go to Jim Carey but that changed at the last minute.

Due to how crazy Spy Who Shagged Me was, that's why Austin Powers 2 ranks lower on my ranking of the Austin Powers films. Its OK, could use improving. I enjoyed the movies and they're really good.

Then we get to the third film, finally, they once again try to minimize all sexual and dirty jokes to a minimum and focus on good humor and the plot itself. While the first two films were successful, Austin Powers 3 kind of didn't do so well and was panned by critics, even though it was somewhat of a box office success in the end. Not only does Myers reprise his roles as Austin, Doc Evil and Fat Bastard in the third film, he ends up playing the villain Goldmember as well. Yup, the film's called Goldmember, obviously a parody of Goldfinger of James Bond fame.

They even brought in Michael Caine to play Austin's father Nigel Powers, really impressive. Famous singer Beyonce got in on the act as a former crush of Austin, Foxxy Cleopatra.
After Austin Powers 3 came out, the film series went dormant, but Mr. Myers has been promising that an Austin Powers 4 is on the way, but it will be a while before it comes.

Mike Myers is the best actor of all time and the Austin Powers films are really good for the most part, as long as all dirty humor is minimized and they do only good jokes.  Oh, I forgot to mention, Goldmember hit theatres July 22, 2002.

One day, Austin Powers 4 will drop and may put Mr. Powers back on track. Hopefully there will be a strong sense of continuity with Dr Evil's son Scott as the new villain after what happened in Goldmember, Seth Green is a great actor.

Mum dislikes it, but me and pop like it. Is Austin Powers worth your time? Yes!
-James M.

Guest Post: James M’s movie review The Terminator

Hiya people, James McCormack the Crazy Video Gaming Wizard aka CrazyGamerHistorian1999 here today and I'd like to discuss something and do a little review. Yes, as you can see, I am here as a guest on my mum's blog to talk about the classic 1984 movie known as The Terminator starring our former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger himself. I saw the movie months ago and it was really good, James Cameron did a good job and all the actors, Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Kyle Reese actor Michael Connell Biehn were incredible actors.

The idea for the Terminator all started when film maker Cameron, as you can guess, had a nightmare about a huge robotic being emerging from the fire with red eyes. Since that day, Cameron began working on a movie inspired by that. Well, fun fact, not only was the movie inspired by a dream, the other main inspiration was Outer Limits. Specifically, the episode Soldier and the episode Demon with a Glass Hand. Soldier was the inspiration more so due to the fact there was the whole soldiers from the future deal.

So whats the plot of the movie you may ask?
In the 21st century, Skynet, this evil computer system thing, saw humanity as a threat and instigated a nuclear war which devastated the planet. By 2029, Skynet and its robo-cyborg armies rule the planet and the survivors of the nuclear holocaust, with help from John Conner, have formed a resistance named TechCom and are fighting to defeat Skynet and its forces. With the Resistance smashing Skynet's defense grid and on the verge of victory, The supercomputer is left without a choice but to send a T800 (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger) back in time to 1984 to eliminate Sarah Conner, John's mum, before the man himself comes into existence

All of this, sending back the Terminator, was just as the Resistance captured the Time Displacement Machine lab. John sends Kyle back in time to intercept the Terminator and protect Sarah. Arriving in 1984, the T800 (its metal endoskeleton surrounded by human tissue) encounters a group of punks and, after demanding clothes, attacks them, actually ripping out a punk member's heart. Kinda gross and dark, I kinda would prefer people getting shot, stabbed, decapitated or knocked unconscious. But anyway, the Terminator obtains some clothes and manages to buy himself some guns from a gun store for its mission.

Meanwhile, Kyle Reese arrives and steals some pants from a homeless guy before getting some shoes and clothes as well as stealing a gun from the police. Sarah Connor? She lives in LA in the 80s so you can say Terminator boy and Kyle are in L.A. Not only that, she's near the end of her teens and is working as a waitress at a restaurant. The Terminator, looking for Sarah, actually uses a phonebook to try and find her, actually murdering two other people who share Sarah's name. The first is a Sarah Connor who is the mamma of two kids.

Eventually, after "terminating" Ginger, Sarah's roomate, and Matt, Ginger's boyfriend, the Terminator tracks down Sarah Connor to the Tech Noir nightclub and is about to shoot her down when Kyle Reese arrives in the nick of time, gets Sarah out of there and they escape the Terminator. Along the way, Kyle has to explain everything; where he's from, his mission, the Terminators and what happens 20 to 40 years after 1984 with Judgement Day. During the car chase with the Terminator, the police apprehend Kyle and Sarah and a battle damaged T800 (don't worry its the same model) escapes to repair itself. By repair itself, we mean do surgery on its arm (revealing the chasse underneath) and remove its broken human eye (also revealing its robotic eye).

Meanwhile, criminal psychologist Dr Silberman is brought in to question Kyle, who tells him everything, being a soldier from the future fighting for the resistance, Skynet and the Terminator. Just as Reese is deemed a nutcase and people doubt his and Sarah's accounts, good old Arnold walks into the police station, says to a guard "I'll be back", (after being denied entry) smashes down the front door with a car and attacks the station, gunning down multiple cops.
 Reese and Sarah escape during the chaos of the shootout and eventually take up residence in a motel. There, Kyle confesses his feelings for Sarah (eventually) and, yes, they actually have sex on-screen (unknowingly to them for now resulting in John's conception *spoilers*), but not before Sarah tries to call her mum, only for it to turn out the Terminator is impersonating the voice of Sarah's mum.

Not long after, the T-800 is now hot on her tail again, leading to another chase sequence which ends with an injured Kyle Reese and a Terminator with its flesh burnt off (thanks to an exploding truck), revealing its robo skeleton. The barely functional T-800 continues its pursuit of Sarah and Kyle into a Cyberdine factory where Reese ends up losing own life protecting Sarah as the Terminator gets its legs blown off by a bomb. Still alive, the freaking cyborg pursues Sarah a bit more until finally being crushed under a compactor thanks to Sarah herself. "You are Terminated."

Six months later, not only is Sarah on the run from society (for now), she has become six months at best prego with John Connor. During a road trip to Mexico and stopping for some gas, we see Sarah doing tape recordings to give to John when he's old enough and that she not only has a gun (to protect herself) but has a dog with her. Dogs can detect Terminators as demonstrated earlier in the movie at a few scenes.
During her stop by the gas station, the attendant's son snaps a photo of Sarah in the car and (guess what) its the same photo John gave Kyle in the future (or will give to Kyle.) ARGH, I HATE TIME TRAVEL PARADOXES! Anyways, the film ends with Sarah driving off as a storm looms in the distance, practically setting up the next movie.

Final thoughts:

Overall, The Terminator is a legend of its own time. Arnold Schwarzenegger was already made popular early on in his movie career. But after Terminator came out, Schwarzenegger was more popular than ever along with lines such as "I'll be back". The Terminator was well received by critics and was a box office success within the first two weeks of its release, grossing billions of dollars within the day it was released. The film was so successful it not only paved the way for sequels and a TV show years later, it paved the way for a franchise consisting of comics, novels and video games. Heck, in 2008, the film was selected by congress for preservation due to being the most significant in pop culture history.

Well, people, thats my review of the movie. When its good its really good, when the film gets dark and serious, it gets dark and serious. The film had very little cringe moments unless you call ripping out hearts cringe-worthy. If you have time, go watch it, on DVD or Cable.

Have a good day out there.
Peace out.

James M
CrazyGamerHistorian1999

Writerly Wednesday: Moving Forward

Artist - Marie Anne Foucart

Moving Forward

Keep moving forward, looking ahead,

staying in the present,
learning from the past.

eyes to the future. No regrets.

Thoughts, fast and fleeting,

heart beating a timpani,

nerves and stress.

Nothing in reserve.

Time to regroup.

You gather yourself together.

Give up what you can't control

and charge forward.

Time to write, 

time to ponder,
wonder and believe
everything will fall into place.

You press for movement.
Do this, do that. 

Why nots and how comes,

demand a finish date.

How do we pay for it all?

Ever anxious, always afraid to ask.

We sit back in wonder.

Grateful, thankful.

Possible becomes probable.

Money, help, advice
Comes to hand,
never early, never late. 

Creativity stilted, blocked, quieted, 

hums in the background,

never ending, waiting for hand

to put pen to paper.

Some days,

one sentence, two.

Other days, pages.

Angst, thanks and snafus.

Characters jump to the fore.

Hello, what's new?

Not stewing, if that's what you think

Living, loving, breathing.

We'll jump back into place,
ready when you are.

We've made new friends
in the meantime.

Would you like to meet?

Characters, old and new.

How do you do?

We're ready, let's move.

~R.L.McCormack