|Willow Tree Angel of Hope|
I broke Hope the other day. I was dusting my bookshelves and while moving all the angels around, she fell, hit the fan and her hands broke off. I tried using tacky glue, but it didn't work. She kind of mirrored how I was feeling for a few days. I get a bit melancholy around James birthday and all the more so since my mom passed away four years ago. Her birthday is the day after James. The grief comes rolling in and there isn't a whole lot you can do except ride it out. And usually when I'm riding that wave, I don't want to write. I avoid it, and read or browse the internet instead. Yesterday I almost talked myself in taking another break from blogging. I was thinking - take a week or two off and maybe get back into it near the end of August. You have so much to do with planning 12th grade and the new building and family is coming to visit and...
Excuses. Right! I do that. I avoid writing when I'm stressed or sad. Instead of working and writing through it, I avoid. It's what I do. Bury my head in the sand until I'm happy again. Don't talk, don't think, just glide. However, I knew if I stopped this time, it would be a mistake. A misstep. A failure to acknowledge what I'm going through in life. Writer's write. They work through the happy, sad, glad, loss, life, bad weather...whatever. Isn't it time for me to own that, instead of disowning my writing every time I'm feeling a bit off? Yes, I think so.
I bought some super glue the other day and today I decided to glue Hope back together. I almost glued my fingers together and yes, I almost managed to glue myself to the figurine and the napkin and the table. But today I glued Hope back together again. And in the process, reaffirmed my decision to keep on writing and posting every single day. Through thick and thin, happiness and sorrow, joy and tears.
A little bit of glue, a little bit of hope, goes a long way.
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. ~Anne Lamott